not fitting in

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, Col.3:12

I know everyone just wants to have fun. Here is a hard word: life in Christ is not about “having fun”. That is not why we are here on this planet, as ambassadors and witnesses of the Kingdom of God. I know, I’m “no fun”. I realize that.

I do love life: i love nature, birds, trees, flowers, gardens, feeding people, talking to people, making things pretty, writing, and being useful. Did i mention I love babies. I love music and art and mountains and beaches. I love the fall season, the leaves, the weather, the crisp air. I like the beautiful things God has created. He created people. He is redeeming people. He gives grace, mercy and love to people.

That is why i do not like Halloween. I do not think there is anything to “celebrate”. Halloween in fact makes me sad. Why do i not “have fun” with it? Because i am not a pagan anymore, as i once was. ( I know what and who Halloween is meant to honor.) And because i care about people. People get taken, hurt, raped, tortured and ritually killed. That hurts my heart. It makes me hurt. I have feelings of empathy and compassion for those who have been ritually abused, and for those who have been killed. I hurt for them. Some of them I know (the survivors). I have respect for them and care about them. I am sad for them, I hurt for them. This makes me “no fun” on Halloween. I have been in a witchcraft satanic place of worship. Yes, built for this purpose. For torture and killing and worship of the god of this world. I can no longer “have fun” with Halloween.

But Jesus came to rescue from death. And that He does. He rescues lost sheep. God rescues from the domain of darkness and transfers them to the Kingdom of His beloved Son. He cares about them. I was one He rescued. I now want to care about people like He does. I want to join Him in rescuing the sheep. My flesh does not want to follow Jesus into this level of love….. my flesh would rather have “fun” and of course I’d like to be accepted as “normal” by everyone I know in Evangelical Christianity. My flesh wants to be “accepted” and to “fit in” and be “normal”….. but Jesus leads me by the Spirit, further away from my flesh. Yes it hurts. It feels like death. And it is. To my flesh, my “self”. But the real life, LIFE IN CHRIST! Christ’s life, is worth it all. Lord Jesus, help us all die to ourselves, and live YOUR LIFE, in your power, sacrificially, in love and compassion, for the others.